It does change things in a way I couldn’t have understood before. There is now the feeling of being on a forever team, no matter what. We spent the first two years of our relationship facing one another. Tell me everything about you and let me keep looking at you, but times do change. We have our own lives to live and paths to walk down and we do so from here on out, side by side and sleeping back to back if need be. Also lending an ear and a heart to hug on when your days go low. I suspect we all have days when we wish we felt better, all the more reason to celebrate the days we feel great. Be happy for the little things. Damn our grown up fear of looking silly, what if it works and life gets better?
It’s easy to get caught up in thoughts of lack and needing different than what you have, but I am grateful for right now in a way I wish I’d known about all along. Being present the moment you’re living a life scene you will look back on, no matter how simple and uneventful, and think, thank you for that time.
I relish this moment tangled up under a blanket watching a movie we’ll never think of again. It’s like so many other nights, but I remember before we were us and wishing I could meet someone I would exist with in a way I’d never experienced firsthand. I believed in it though. Was willing to wait for it.
It’s always better and also different than you thought.
Learning to let go of who you were. Those past versions are like dust in the wind and this you that you are right now, this is who matters. You may bemoan her and find all his shortcomings, wish wishing you were better. I promise you this, in a year or two you will look back and see yourself for how amazing you truly are in this moment.
See it now.
Take pride you are doing your best today. No one said it would be easy, in fact quite the opposite, but you’re here doing what only you can do day after day. Have faith in that. We could talk in circles about why and how and where, but there is one unwavering truth, we are here.
Here we are.
(Except for when we aren’t.)
Love Love Love
I’ve been without camera for a couple weeks now and I miss it something fierce. I didn’t realize how often I reach for it until it was broken. I’ve been so busy thoroughly enjoying cleaning, staining furniture, avoiding editing, and thrifty shopping for home fashions I haven’t gotten a new camera yet. Here are some of my all time favorite pictures I’ve ever taken in honor of all my cameras I’ve ever had.
It doesn’t have to be perfect, but please let it be.